... the older person gets even older. My best friend for over 30 years, the love of my life, the woman of my dreams; after over 30 years of telling me that she loved me, and that we would always be at least, the best of friends, suddenly started hating me. Probably a little of both. A generation-gap friendship has been said to be one of the most essential friendships in a person's life. And that our experiences have value. I'm talking about decades worth of an age gap. In an intergenerational friendship, there’s no judgment nor petty jealousy, either. We were born in the same year and we've been dating for the past 7 months and now she's turning 17 in the next 5 days. And that our experiences have value. There’s just something I love about hearing an older… I really enjoy the young perspective they offer to my life and I suppose my advice might be something they value. This was comforting, knowing there is still hope for me (and my passport). Life isn’t all roses. I am 55. As the saying goes, you’re only as young as you feel. I don't know how this makes him feel, but I love hearing stories of eras I don't remember and places I've never been. As you get older, you begin to care less and less about what others think. I have my oldest best friend and my older best friend. The first I have known since primary school. They are the first breath of freedom. Things are never awkward; we can talk about anything and everything, and even when we haven't spoken in ages, we just pick up right where we left off. My best friend is 30 years older than me and she got this tattoo today. But in this part of the world, we are the same Chinese zodiac, and that counts for a lot. That's like valuing a 30-year-old because he has the math aptitude of a middle schooler. All rights reserved. A 50-year-old playing 30 grew past its prime for me. N Volden Author of The Gravediggers of Champagne County and the new micro novel Between Two Islands. I grew up with two sisters who are 10 and 14 years older than me. Your older friend won’t think you're “boring” or “lame” for preferring to stay in and have one glass of wine, rather than go out on the weekend and get completely hammered. And for no other reason than to be able to pat their back and say, "you are doing great and you have plenty of time.". I mean I dont know what i would do without her. Hi there. 5. An interrogational friendship doesn’t just benefit the younger of the pair. It can get a bit annoying having a best friend who is younger than you are because they don’t have all the same benefits that you do at your age. would you ever be friends with someone older than you 30 years? And in just the same way I have done with younger friends, he eases my angst with a pat on the back and a gentle reminder, "you have so much time." First of all, older friends are a bit like grandparents; they let you do whatever your parents forbid. I felt this shift once before when I graduated from precocious teenager with audacious dreams to an average twenty-something with an average job. One of my best friends is about 23 years older than me. 2 You are important in his life. He has more time to spend with you and focus on your mutual interests and desires. He gets along so well with your friends! To put it bluntly, sh*t gets hard, and a lot of Gen-Yers just don't have the maturity or emotional stability to handle the intensity of life's more difficult issues. An older friend can. But what if the age difference between you and them was just as significant as their personality? While I am thankful for friends within my own age group, there are also many benefits to having friends older than me by 10, 20, or even 30 years apart. But several of those new media rockstars have become friends. She help you to look better on the outside and the inside. Just by being around her, her self-confidence and sophistication will unconsciously rub off on you. Not only will she point out your problems, but she will help you fix them, too. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. On the flip side of this (because what is life but a paradox), one of my dearest friends, who also happens to be a writer, is older than me. She serves as a much-needed reality check that certain hardships and annoyances follow us through our entire lives. I lost my father 10 years ago. And you’ll be grateful for it. They have more experiences, I can rely on them for advice. Older friends provide a perspective or outlook you might not have considered. I just crossed over last month into the third decade of my life, which means that within the last two years I've started to notice the lens through which the world sees me change. Just the other day during a text conversation he said "I didn't start traveling until I was 30." We have the same sense of humor. This was comforting, knowing there is still hope for me (and my … 15. older than me?, Relationships, 94 replies Unhealthy to only have one friend- My boyfriend is my best friend but is now my only friend?, Psychology, 5 replies Long stretches of time to make mistakes, and fail, and fail again. I made a friend 30 years older than me ... Luckily an older gentleman came my way and offered (on his own) to help me get down without me even hinting I needed the help. My best friend is a Filipino with kids as old as me. Sooner or later, you’ll stop caring, and you’ll just enjoy the ride. I think they act as father figures. I'm sure many people can identify with that. He made small talk and I … I have a girl friend that is about 10 years younger than me, I'm 27. Growing up, I always had older friends. literally. As an incessant late bloomer, it can take me years to develop skills, have experiences, and learn concepts that some people seem to grasp early and without much effort. On the other hand, my best friend can get me into some more modern things that I may not be familiar with since I’m older. I can talk to her about anything, and our talks range from discussions on our bodily habits to deep and philosophical musings, like whether the pursuit of perfection is a learned or innate behavior. We both are givers and people pleasers. ©2021 Verizon Media. So far, so normal. A friend of mine jokes that I accumulate older women with weekend homes the way other people do spare change. But this shift is different because (hard swallow) I'm starting to be looked at as old. My best/closest friend is nearly 10 years older than me (yes, I know, you didn't think anyone was older than me ), and I don't see anything wrong with that. Emily, 40, and Albert, 62, first met through mutual friends when he was 44 and she was 22, and got married just a couple of years later. A high-quality woman is a woman of value. Stability, a strong sense of self, and advancement in his career are things older men can potentially bring to the table more often than a man in his 20s or 30s can, says Sherman. Except for the fact that being born in 1912 – the same year the Titanic went down – my father was old enough to be my … She is also proof that even though it doesn't feel like it now, you will get through it and come out the other side. The troubles you think would pass with time (like anxiety, cliché high-school-type drama and childlike males) will be things you have to deal with well into your later years. By Thomas Kuegler. Yet I have 3 friends that are 30 years older than me. My other closest friendship is a intergenerational friendship. And as you hit your 2os, it becomes increasingly and indisputably obvious that when it comes to friendship, it’s quality over quantity. Her advice (should be) sound advice because she has the real-life experience to draw on. Older doesn’t equal old. While he’s the oldest man I’ve ever dated, most of my exes have been between 15 and 20 years older than me. But any number of my friends are more than half my age and are female. And there are a few benefits to having a friend who is older and wiser than you. He is just a terrific guy and I think the world of him. My curiosity can be endless, and his knowledge often matches it precisely. (Nope.) I'm in my mid-30's and one of my best friends is 9 years younger than me. We met at work and share a larger group of friends that ranges in age from 22 to late 30… i really love her but i usually get scared she might leave me when people tell me to date someone younger than me. The 16 Best Things About Dating an Older Guy; The truth is, when we feel young, it's nice to have a conversation with someone younger, reminding us how far we've come. My asian wife is 12 years younger than me, so I copped a lot of crap about my child bride, etc. You will never hear him saying things like, “Give me some more space, 'cause I have to focus on my career right now”. So to have an older friend tell me this is normal, well, the confidence that comes from that is invaluable. Making friends with someone older has taught me to take life one day at a time and learn from her life experiences. I’m 27. She's my main friend I hang with. I thought it was awesome enough to share. Chances are any hard situations you find yourself in, she’s either been through herself or knows how to deal with them. my girlfriend's birthday is on 8th May and mine is on 5th august. This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. I have a best friend that is a year older than me and she says that I mean the world to her and that she cares about me deeply and i care about her a lot too. I am in the exact position as you so I will just tell you how it is for me right now. Hey Kenneth, Well, these kind of relationships just happen! Besides what can i get her for birthday? Today, they've been together for 18 years, have two beautiful children, and in many ways have what would be … Long stretches of time to make mistakes, and fail, and fail again. The older you are, the more you’ve seen and done. And while your younger friends may feel obliged to tell you what you want to hear, an older friend won’t sugarcoat the truth. Being able to watch someone's life unfold from the other side of 20, from a more stable and secure place, is refreshing. In our younger years, we are often frugal with money more out of necessity than choice. They make me feel old a lot, yes, but they also make me feel accomplished and grateful. Like I was getting one over on life and its lessons. I am happy to be the person with a little bit of experience under my belt for once. A man ten years older than you is settled in his career. Finding true friends can be difficult. My Best Friend Is 20 Years Older Than Me, Here's What I've Learned. Until I met my best friend, I didn’t realize the truth in "old age is a state mind.". But recently, after taking an inventory of my relationships, I realized for the first time, the ages of my friends are all over the map. We're both addicted to good coffee and enjoy tanning on the beach. But, she can also be a complete mess, just like me. We've been dating for three years (and living a distance relationship on top of that). Lauren July 14th, 2014 at 2:27 PM . I was sooo grateful. Just the other day during a text conversation he said "I didn't start traveling until I was 30." I kind of view him as my little brother in the fondest way, but with none of the power dynamics of a sibling relationship. Many years ago, I fell in love with a lady 29 years older than me. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, The essential guide to taking care of your mind and body. overnight. Learn from her mistakes. Warning: Although wise, she will still be just as bad an influence in casual cocktail consumption and shopping trips. From my 40something perspective, a 50 something isn't terribly older than I am and I can say that men of all ages have been known to sing … Having an older friend teaches you there are some things you shouldn’t be a tight ass about. She will introduce you to the importance of quality wine, food and fashion. I want you to notice what you think about this. We've all heard the notion that choosing your friends carefully is important for your success and well being. And in just the same way I have done with younger friends, he eases my angst with a pat on the back and a gentle reminder, "you have so much time." It’s about who you are as a person, not what year you were born. It wasn't the age thingy - we didn't think you had any friends My boyfriend and I have been together for six months and are very much in love. If I had grown up in this town, we would have been in school together and likely best friends. I’m lucky enough to have two really close friends. Russell confesses he hasn't dated since 1989 and Jess replies, "That was the year I … DON'T make your man feel older than he actually is (or date yourself). Because of his experience. I swore I wouldn't say how old, but lets just say ABBA was the soundtrack to his youth and Barbara Streisand was the JLaw of his time. But, it recently came to my attention one of those friendships isn’t so conventional. "I don't think anyone thought we were going to get together," she says, "but we were attracted to each other and had a lot to talk about.". The co-author of the book What Happy Women Do, Anna Kudak talk about bridging the generation gap and in addition to expanding the circle of friends, spending time with the elderly, strengthen your mental health. Her birthday was actually a couple of weeks before mine, she just didn't understand that I was born a couple of years before her. Gen-Y lifestyle can mean “treating yourself” comes in the form of a $10 bottle of wine paired with microwave noodles. Despite the gap, we have so much in common, and we always have a lot of fun. This can be a humbling experience, to say the least. It even gets a few raised eyebrows. It also doesn't help that she's female and I'm male. Be prepared to spend your entire life trying to get your "sh*t together." I'm not talking about friends that are one or two years older or younger. I don’t actively seek them out (and I certainly don’t treat them like spare change), but I’m not immune to their charms. When I was a kid my good friend who was a couple years younger than me couldn't understand how I was older than her if her birthday was before mine. Anna Kudak, coauthor of "What Happy Women Do," says. Now pay attention. I want you to notice what your immediate assumptions are. They’re appreciative of your friendship. This is because she's been through the exact same thing a few years earlier. Awesome! 6. That is a year older than me. Also called an age-gap friendship, an intergenerational friendship is when your friend is either significantly older or younger than yourself. That is the epitome of a full life. Women 23-32: Do You Prefer Much Older Men or Men just a few years older?, Relationships, 253 replies why do I attract older men 15-25yrs. I met her at 20, she was 27. The truth is, when we feel young, it's nice to have a conversation with someone younger, reminding us how far we've come. She is a woman who knows her worth, and she won’t settle for anything less. Our conversations are some of the most fascinating I have experienced. Part of HuffPost Wellness. And when we feel old, it's nice to be reminded that we still have so far to go. And when we feel old, it's nice to be reminded that we still have so far to go. My daughter wants me to meet this man, but I am too shocked and angry that a man of … In the end, I gave up on my friends who wouldn't grow up, and have a whole bunch of other friends who appreciate us for who we are. The only problem is, there is almost an eight-year age difference between us, and people bring it … As you develop as a person, it’s expected your priorities will change, too. The perfect life we strive for or believe will come with time doesn’t actually exist. Why is this so important? At the end of the day, age is just a number. Until I met my best friend, I didn’t realize the truth in "old age is a state mind." Being around a confident, fearless, female friend is empowering. And I've come to appreciate this diversity on a deep level, as each of their unique perspectives adds something meaningful to my life. We are similar in our outlooks and views. We tend to stick to our own age group when socializing, mingling and meeting new people, so it’s surprising for people when they find out my closest friend is almost 25 years older than me. :] During any given week we should feel old and young, all at once. We've been in different states, and we've had completely different life paths. There are just a few decades between us. I was born in 1977 and have two older siblings. Different perspectives on issues is a great recipe for intelligent conversation, and it can help you to really broaden your own thoughts and ideas about the world. Over the years, from fights and illness to triumphs and happiness, our friendship has endured it all. After they pick their jaw up off the floor when I tell them how old I am (because at 20, who can possibly comprehend life goes on after the clock strikes 30), they do a weird thing where a slight admiration sets in. Simply put, we should all have the opportunity to feel young when we are old, and old when we are young. Because it's only when we realize that time is on our side that we can make the most of it. My husband has a popular YouTube channel, and working within the realm of viral sensations you interact a lot with people who were playing at recess the first time they heard Taylor Swift. Like all friendships, it’s give and take. Here, a 25-year-old woman explains what it's really like dating an older man nearly 15 years her senior—and lays out the good and bad parts of dating older men. I met her, and she is actually very nice and in love with my son. Once we were down he noticed my son on my back and stuck around. Maybe it was my maturity, or maybe it was that I liked feeling like I was ahead of the curve. We do a lot of stuff together. Sick of talking about Tinder, hookups and last week's party? And of ourselves. An older man who's worthy of your time knows what he wants in a relationship. This new boyfriend is older than my wife, who is 46. "People often ask whether an older man is more mature than a younger one," Sherman adds. My older best friend is strong, hilarious, smart, fun and generally pretty kick-ass.

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